The Most Underrated Tool in Leadership? A Great 1:1.
Layci Nelson- Apr 29
- 3 min read
You know what doesn’t build trust?
Quarterly check-ins where you breeze through KPIs, mumble something about development goals, and wrap with, “Keep up the good work!”
We’ve got to stop treating leadership like a performance review and start treating it like a relationship.
Let’s be real: most people don’t leave jobs—they leave managers. And often, it’s not because the manager was awful. It’s because they were… absent.
Physically there. Meetings attended. Deadlines hit. But emotionally? Disconnected. Distracted. Going through the motions.
The fix? It’s deceptively simple.
🗓️ Weekly 1:1 meetings. Done well, these are the foundation of trust, performance, and long-term retention. Done poorly (or skipped entirely), and they become one more missed opportunity to actually lead.
Why 1:1s matter more than you think:
1. People need to feel seen to stay engaged. We’re not talking about transactional check-ins. We’re talking about genuine human conversations.
2. Clarity is kindness. Weekly touchpoints allow you to redirect, realign, and reinforce priorities before things go off the rails.
3. Trust grows in consistency. A meeting that actually happens every week does more than keep projects on track—it tells your people: you matter enough to plan around.
Don’t know what to talk about? Here’s a framework:
Try this 5-part rhythm for your next five 1:1s:
✅ 1. Check-In
Start human. Not with metrics—start with them.
“What’s new in your world?”
“How’s your work/life balance dance going?”
“Where are you on the burnout meter this week?”
🌟 2. Recent Wins
People need to be reminded of what’s going well.
“What are you proud of this week?”
“Anything you want me to know that went right?”
⚠️ 3. Current Obstacles
Normalize talking about challenges.
“What’s frustrating you?”
“Where are you stuck?”
“Is there anything you're not saying that I need to hear?”
📎 4. Other Topics
Let them bring what matters most.
“What’s one thing you wish we talked about more often?”
🔭 5. Next Week
Set a clear anchor.
“What’s your most important priority next week?”
“What’s one thing I can support you with?”
Great leaders don’t guess how people are doing—they ask.
If your team feels off… if motivation is low… if you’re not sure what’s going on under the surface—your first leadership act isn’t to tighten the reins. It’s to lean in and listen.
Let me say this again:
✨ You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room.
✨ You don’t need to have all the answers.
✨ But you do need to create space for the best answers to emerge.
That’s what 1:1s are for.
Don’t forget: Leadership is emotional work.
You can’t logic your way out of emotional disconnection.
When people are quiet, distant, or disengaged—it’s not always about workload. Sometimes it’s about not feeling seen, heard, or valued.
1:1s are your chance to fix that in real time. To name the vibe. To invite truth. To build trust before it breaks.
TL;DR:
If you’re leading people, don’t wing it.
Use your 1:1s as more than status updates. Use them to:
Build trust
Coach with intention
Create safety
And actually connect
Because in the end, great leadership isn’t about charisma or control. It’s about consistency, clarity, and care.
If you want more frameworks like this—or someone to help your team build emotional fluency, courageous communication, and trust that lasts—we’re ready when you are.
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