Stop Settling for the “Lite” Version of Your Life

And leadership. And relationships. And dreams.

You know that moment when you finally take a bite of actual ice cream after months of pretending that Sparkle Lite Vanilla is basically the same as Ben & Jerry’s?

You’ve been telling yourself, “It’s fine. It’s close enough. It does the job.” And then—bam—one spoonful of the good stuff hits your tongue, and your whole body goes, “Ohhhh… this. THIS is what I’ve been missing.”

That’s what waking up from “The Settling” feels like.

We don’t always know we’re settling. It sneaks up on us. It’s quiet. It’s polite. It sounds like:

“This is fine.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“This is just how things are.”
“I should be grateful.”
“It’s not perfect, but it pays the bills.”

It’s subtle. It’s strategic. It helps us avoid discomfort. But the real cost is that it shrinks us.

And what we don’t often talk about is that this happens in our leadership too.

You might be settling if:

You avoid the hard conversations because “they’re probably just burned out and will bounce back soon.”
You’ve stopped asking your team for feedback because “they never have anything to say.”
You don’t address weird tension in meetings because “we’ve got too much on our plates to get into that right now.”
You keep holding onto your B+ people, hoping they’ll magically become A-level players—because it’s “not that bad.”

We settle in how we show up. We settle in how much truth we’re willing to speak. We settle in how safe we make it for others to do the same.

Emotional disconnection is the real productivity killer.

When things go off the rails at work, our first instinct is to push harder on strategy, process, and productivity tools. But most performance issues aren’t actually about strategy—they’re about emotional disconnection.

Humans don’t do their best work when they feel:

Undervalued
Unseen
Unsafe to speak up
Disconnected from purpose

You can’t fix that with tighter deadlines or another “clear expectations” email.

You fix it by choosing to lead differently. And that starts with the courage to name what’s real—inside yourself first.

Settling is the opposite of leadership.

The best leaders I know don’t settle for surface-level connection. They ask better questions. They’re willing to be uncomfortable. They know that trust isn’t built through perfection—it’s built through vulnerability.

"Vulnerability isn’t oversharing. It’s offering the parts of yourself that might not be received."

Real vulnerability is a risk. It’s saying, “I’m unsure.” It’s telling the truth even when your voice shakes. It’s asking for what you need without knowing if you’ll get it.

That’s the soil where great leadership grows. And great teams? They thrive on that kind of trust.

Your systems are showing.

There’s this quote from James Clear I love:

“You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

So ask yourself:

🛠️ What do your systems say about you?

– How do you run meetings?

– How do you handle feedback?

– How do you circle back after conflict?

Because your people experience your habits, not your intentions.

If your systems reinforce safety, clarity, and ownership—amazing. If not? You’ve got some ice cream to reclaim.

So… what now?

Start by asking yourself:

Where in my life or leadership have I been convincing myself “lite” is enough?
What conversations am I avoiding because they might be uncomfortable?
What have I stopped dreaming about because it felt too big or too late?

You don’t need to overhaul everything overnight. You don’t need a big “Aha!” You just need the willingness to admit where you’ve been settling.

And the courage to take one brave step toward more.

You in? Let’s stop settling. For ourselves. For our teams. For what’s possible. We help leaders do this every day—through coaching, workshops, and real conversations that bring you back to the full-flavor version of who you are.

Reach out if you want support. And for now? Go get the good ice cream.