People Don’t Quit Jobs, They Quit Bosses: Why Emotional Intelligence is Essential for Retaining Top Talent

Layci Nelson
May 12
5 min read

If you believe there’s no room for feelings in business, you’re setting yourself up for a revolving door of talented employees.

When someone leaves a job, they rarely walk away because of the tasks or the workload. Instead, when asked about their reasons for leaving, 9 times out of 10, the sentence starts with:

“They made me feel…”

Like I didn’t matter.
Stupid.
Like there were favorites and I wasn’t one.
Always stressed out.
Like I was always annoying them.
Like a cog in their machine.
Undervalued.
Like I never knew what was actually going on.
Like I could never do the job good enough.

Sound familiar? As leaders, we like to think of ourselves as rational beings, capable of making logical decisions based on facts and figures. But let’s get real—humans are emotional creatures. If you doubt me, just spend a few minutes studying marketing. The entire industry is built on the premise that people make decisions emotionally, not logically.

In fact, research shows that emotions are at the heart of many decisions people make. According to the Harvard Business Review, emotions drive around 80% of decision-making, whether we’re buying a product, deciding on a relationship, or choosing to leave a job. And when it comes to the workplace, the emotions your team members experience under your leadership have a massive impact on retention.

Amy sharing that emotions are good in the show Brooklyn 99.

The Cost of Ignoring Emotions

Ignoring your employees' emotional needs, brushing off their concerns, or simply pretending that everything will be fine if you just keep working harder is a dangerous game. If you don’t address your team’s emotions proactively, you’ll end up spending far more energy and resources trying to fix the damage after it’s done. And trust me, the costs—both emotional and financial—are exponentially higher on the back end.

Gallup’s State of the American Workplace report revealed that employees who are engaged with their work are 21% more productive. However, engagement is tightly linked to their emotional connection with their employer. In fact, 54% of employees who leave their jobs say they do so because of their relationship with their direct supervisor or manager. This relationship is directly tied to how valued they feel and how well their emotional needs are met.

The Workplace Emotion Study by the Center for Creative Leadership also found that leaders who exhibit emotional intelligence (EI) not only inspire more loyalty but also improve employee satisfaction, engagement, and overall performance.

Those who lack EI risk losing top talent, as employees who feel ignored, undervalued, or misunderstood are far more likely to look for an environment where they feel seen, heard, and respected.

The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

So, how can leaders make sure they aren’t unintentionally driving their team members to quit? The answer lies in emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.

Research by TalentSmart shows that emotional intelligence is responsible for 58% of a person’s job performance. Leaders who possess EI are better equipped to handle the ups and downs of the workplace, understand their team members’ concerns, and address conflicts before they escalate. These leaders are more likely to foster a positive work environment, where team members feel emotionally supported and empowered to do their best work.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about being nice—it’s about being present, aware, and responsive. It’s about tuning into the underlying feelings of your team members and addressing them head-on. It’s about showing that you care enough to notice when something’s off and making the effort to understand what’s going on beneath the surface.

The True Cost of Ignoring the “Weird Vibe”

You know that feeling you get when something just doesn’t feel right at work? Maybe it's a sudden silence in a meeting, a shift in attitude, or the subtle tension that everyone is trying to ignore. Many leaders make the mistake of brushing off these "weird vibes," thinking that if they just keep pushing forward, it will all blow over.

But here’s the thing: It won’t. Those vibes are your team’s emotions trying to communicate with you. If you don’t acknowledge and address them, they’ll only grow stronger, and the cost to your team and your organization will be far greater than if you dealt with it early on.

Employees who feel unheard or dismissed are far more likely to disengage, become less productive, or leave entirely. In fact, the Harvard Business Review reported that employees who feel their emotions are not acknowledged by their leaders are 60% more likely to leave their jobs within a year. That’s a staggering number when you consider the costs of recruiting and training new employees.

What Can You Do About It?

If you don’t want your employees to quit you, it’s time to tune into their emotions. Stop playing the game of ignoring the discomfort in the room until it “goes away.” It won’t go away on its own. But your team might.

Here’s how to start:

Recognize Emotions: Pay attention to how people are feeling. Do you notice stress? Frustration? Uncertainty? Address these feelings early before they have the chance to grow into bigger problems.
Empathy First: When someone comes to you with an issue, listen more than you speak. Show empathy by validating their feelings and offering support, not just solutions.
Create a Safe Space: Foster an environment where employees feel comfortable sharing their concerns and emotions without fear of judgment or retaliation.
Set the Tone: Lead by example. If you want your team to be emotionally intelligent, you need to model that behavior yourself. Acknowledge your own feelings and be open about your emotional responses when appropriate.
Act on Feedback: Don’t just listen—act. If your team is expressing dissatisfaction, make sure you address the underlying causes and communicate the steps you’re taking to improve things.
Don’t try and do it alone: Join The LIFT

In Conclusion

Leadership isn’t just about tasks, strategies, or profit margins—it’s about people. And people are emotional beings. If you want to retain your top talent and build a thriving workplace, you need to acknowledge the emotional needs of your team members. Because when you fail to do that, you’re not just risking disengagement—you’re risking their departure.

Remember, people don’t quit jobs, they quit bosses. And if you don’t want to become the reason your best employees walk out the door, it’s time to tune in to their feelings, be present for them, and lead with emotional intelligence. It’s not just the right thing to do—it’s the smart thing to do for your business.